Something is broken inside. You’re not the same person anymore. You’re not the sane person anymore. You’ve been sinking in quick sand on a daily. Hear the rhythm of the sand as it sucks you in. Some days you want to plan an escape, the daily convulsions have let go of you. Some days, you slightly hope it does suck you in. You’re not you, so why does it matter? In fact, nothing matters at all.
You badly want to know if things are ever going to be the same again. If your smile is going to light up the world again. If you’ll ever derive meaning and happiness from life’s events again. You’re wondering if you’re meant to be you again. Have good things happen to you too. Wish for good things and aspire to something. You badly want to know if that will ever be you….again.
you know people like me when we love, we love hard and that’s more of a character flaw to believe in the sacred nature of love reckless lovers. time and again the reward isn’t worth the risk i fall in love in the most cruel way i do not wish to get hurt i’ve done this thing before i know all too well how much it burns but I’m not going to hold back.
i’m a prisoner to love if I had known better i would still have let myself fall in love with you over and over you loving me too would have been beautiful you don’t have to let me love you that alone is enough
i lose you everyday i come crawling back great is the sin I’ve committed choosing to love you, and no one else you string me along and as soon as I get on my feet i follow you around what a foolish heart i carry. i can’t make you fall in love with me the same way, unloving you is an impossible feat i do hope though that there’s a universe in which we are lovers a universe in which you’ve promised me “forever and always” a universe in which you hold my hand and never let go…..
He came with a clear label, “do not touch” way before the blood red label caught my attention everyone had told me to stay away messy is attractive messy is familiar i was your little pigeon you threw bread crumbs I come running they said stay away i hastened my pace loved the sound of my footsteps and heartbeat towards you i wasn’t going to listen i wanted to touch i told myself I was different i told myself I’d remove the “do not touch label” or be the person who touched, not only touched, but held on even when the roses grew thorns and pierced my bare hands. i loved the current as it came i felt my heart flutter on the first it swept through everything now I walk over the debris no regrets you switched it up and I’ve got scars they live to tell the story of us i shan’t touch again; I remember what happened last time.
It was after the torrential rains and the storm had subsided that I realized that none of this ever fit into the grander scheme of things after the sleepless nights punctuated by weeping and mornings that meant showing up everyday, fake smiles and all the hurting was just for hurting nje it was my turn for the universe to duck me over pain was just that; pain despite the many writings we chalked up rationalizing everything that had gone wrong kneeling in prayer, praying for a way praying for a better day desperate for the wounds to heal reaching for the invisible hands when panic attacked to think we were nearing death each time but wounds only heal when they want to pain doesn’t build character hurting leaves scars and trauma as a topping