you know people like me when we love, we love hard and that’s more of a character flaw to believe in the sacred nature of love reckless lovers. time and again the reward isn’t worth the risk i fall in love in the most cruel way i do not wish to get hurt i’ve done this thing before i know all too well how much it burns but I’m not going to hold back.
i’m a prisoner to love if I had known better i would still have let myself fall in love with you over and over you loving me too would have been beautiful you don’t have to let me love you that alone is enough
i lose you everyday i come crawling back great is the sin I’ve committed choosing to love you, and no one else you string me along and as soon as I get on my feet i follow you around what a foolish heart i carry. i can’t make you fall in love with me the same way, unloving you is an impossible feat i do hope though that there’s a universe in which we are lovers a universe in which you’ve promised me “forever and always” a universe in which you hold my hand and never let go…..
He came with a clear label, “do not touch” way before the blood red label caught my attention everyone had told me to stay away messy is attractive messy is familiar i was your little pigeon you threw bread crumbs I come running they said stay away i hastened my pace loved the sound of my footsteps and heartbeat towards you i wasn’t going to listen i wanted to touch i told myself I was different i told myself I’d remove the “do not touch label” or be the person who touched, not only touched, but held on even when the roses grew thorns and pierced my bare hands. i loved the current as it came i felt my heart flutter on the first it swept through everything now I walk over the debris no regrets you switched it up and I’ve got scars they live to tell the story of us i shan’t touch again; I remember what happened last time.
Hi guys welcome to my blog. If this is your first time here, please scroll down and catch up on my previous issues. This piece is my first collaboration and I look forward to a lot more. It was born off a tweet that Denzel tweeted and we (Denzel, Izrus, Takudzwanashewashe and I) decided to write on why the youth tend to leave church, and perhaps how things can be done differently from to encourage their relationships with their deities of choice. This is my first piece targeting a shaky table.
As you grow older, your perception changes, so do your actions. Many ascertain independence from parents, and it is somewhere in that matrix that key decisions like leaving church happen. I would like to believe that a significant number of people once they enter their youth, go through a period of questioning their faith and religion amongst other things. It’s a period of self transformation, and intentionally aligning with one’s beliefs. This period however long means different things for different individuals, some testify that it comes stronger faith, some leave church but hold on to religious dogma and acknowledge the existence of God and their failure to live congruent to religious demands and some cease to believe in God completely. For some, leaving church is influenced by the need to fulfill “worldly desires” , without having to endure the guilt and ostracizing every other Sunday. In this blog I will try my best to not over criticize the church, but perhaps lay out how it stunts personal growth, uses fear mongering for control and leaves no space for many to have relationships with their deities.
For the most part, many religious activities are performative, you grow up within this set up, engage in rituals you sometimes do not understand, believe that your church is the ultimate church. Apart from that, most people’s introduction to religion and God course is summarized as “Believe in God and his Son and you’ll go to heaven and have a beautiful ever lasting life. Do not, commit sins and go to Hell.” The driving factor for most people is the fear of eternal damnation, and then as you grow older in religion you’re introduced to the concept of praying for things and getting them. So if we were to summarize it simply most people are religious because of fear, followed by what they believe God can give them, fear being the most dominant factor in one’s beliefs. When we grow older, we question what we’ve been taught, think more about the concept of God, heaven, hell, if we really want such a sacred relationship to be based on these things, or if this relationship even exists. Religion and religious acts are enough to make one question the existence of God. They also interfere with how the youth interface with God and religion, ultimately leading to decisions like leaving the church, pursuing spirituality over being part of fellowships one fails to fit in to.
To say most religious institutions exist to save souls would be outright dishonest. Even the concept of soul saving is an interesting one, funny thing before this I had never really thought about it. Anyways, that’s neither here nor there. Nowadays it has become increasingly clear that some set ups are purely for financial gain. Also over time, the church has treated women and other minorities in distasteful manners. Churches happen to be the heart of misogyny and patriarchal beliefs, and these beliefs are also supported by various religious books. A good number of women leave the church because of this, I’m not sure how you’re supposed to thrive in a place that insists in your being less than. Moreover an institution that supports the dehumanization of women and queer people, upholds beliefs that impact you negatively and impose limits to your freedom, hopes and aspirations among other things.
Humans being fundamentally flawed species tend to “spoil” things with their imperfections. In the case of the church it’s things like the ego of leaders, know it all attitudes and the most jarring setback to date: resistance to change. Church leaders tend to make rules and regulations that are in no way synced to the Bible, this has happened over time and it’s not a new thing. There is literally very little or no grace at all for wrong doings. There are people who are revered, perhaps more than God/Allah himself. Many rules and regulations within churches are twisted versions of the Holy books. It’s unfortunate that churches tend to use holy books for their own agendas. All these things are absurd, despite the many justifications that can be issued towards this.
Here’s the thing, churches aren’t just the best places for young people seeking to grow, learn and self discover. Admitting the harm that the manner in which we practice religion has can only set base for evolution. If the church is really set on winning souls, then a change of strategy should be in their bingo cards. A starting point would be the “Introduction to God and Religion” and then perhaps a “ Human rights and dignity 101” as well, we probably need that.!
It was after the torrential rains and the storm had subsided that I realized that none of this ever fit into the grander scheme of things after the sleepless nights punctuated by weeping and mornings that meant showing up everyday, fake smiles and all the hurting was just for hurting nje it was my turn for the universe to duck me over pain was just that; pain despite the many writings we chalked up rationalizing everything that had gone wrong kneeling in prayer, praying for a way praying for a better day desperate for the wounds to heal reaching for the invisible hands when panic attacked to think we were nearing death each time but wounds only heal when they want to pain doesn’t build character hurting leaves scars and trauma as a topping